now that we can marry, should we?

For over twenty years, Elizabeth has been helping LGBTQ families create and dissolve relationships in a particularly hostile legal environment – the wacky, backward State of Florida. She has counseled thousands of individuals and couples who failed to plan properly as they formed unions and families. Failing to plan has terrible consequences.

Many LGBTQ couples, accustomed to living off the grid and in the margins, are so thrilled to have the opportunity to marry that we are gleefully jumping into marriage headfirst, without concern for the legal and financial consequences. It is easy to get caught up in the excitement over the victories we have achieved, especially when there is a societal expectation is that each and every loving and committed couple ought to marry, often considered one of life’s milestones.

Before racing to the altar, it is important to understand that the law can be treacherous. There are defaults upon divorce, disability and death which might not be what you intend. If you are considering marriage, remember this: just because you can get married does not mean you should. There's so much to consider that Elizabeth has written a whole book about it! You can get it wherever you get books - even the public library. But do be sure and educate yourself and look before you leap!

things to consider before getting married:

This might sound obvious, but as a general matter, make sure you truly know the person you’re marrying, their family, health issues, and anything else that might be an unwelcome surprise. (My book's chapter "Starting Out" has a great list of 15 questions to ask one another. Discuss those more than once over the course of time as answers may change).
Talk to an accountant to learn what the tax implications of marrying would be.
Make sure you’re on the same page about whether — and how — you want to have children, if kids are a consideration.
Consult with a lawyer about what the consequences would be at death or divorce and whether a prenuptial agreement would be appropriate.
Get clear about where you both want to live in the future, including retirement, and if caring for either’s family members might be part of that picture.
Be clear whether any benefits you receive based on your household income, like Medicaid, student financial aid, and much more. These payments could be compromised by the combined household income upon marriage.
If you’re getting social security benefits as a divorced or surviving spouse, contact your local Social Security office or call 800.772.1213 to see if your benefits would be affected by marriage.
Understand one another’s specific assets, debts and whether tax filings and payments are current.
Be sure you’re informed about any pending lawsuits or criminal issues past or present.
Examine your current estate plan and whether any changes need to be made to realize your intentions.

ways to protect your family, regardless of marital status:

A Will is essential - it clarifies how your property is to be distributed, and determines who cares for your children and who will administer your estate.
Titling deeds and accounts jointly means those assets pass directly to your partner on your death, avoiding the time and expense of probate.
A Durable Power of Attorney authorizes your partner to do just about everything on your behalf. Beware: it’s powerful - and effective immediately.
A Health Care Surrogate grants your designee access and decision-making authority in the health care context.
A Living Will is an advance directive which states that you would not want “heroic measures” to be used if you were in an end-stage condition.
A Pre-Need Guardian names a legal guardian who would supervise your care if a court determines you are legally incapacitated.
A Guardian for Minor Child names a legal guardian to care for your minor child if a court determines you are legally incapacitated.
Your beneficiary designations usually control in the event of a conflict with your will. Make sure the names listed are your current intended recipients.
A Co-Habitation Agreement, Prenuptial Agreement or Postnuptial Agreement details what should happen with jointly held property if you break up or at death.
A Stepparent or Second Parent Adoption is essential for all same-sex couples who are raising children together, to ensure equal parental rights for both parents.

Of course, this is not a substitute for individual legal advice. These issues are quite complex, so it’s best to consult legal counsel about your family’s needs.

The road to marriage equality in Florida

Elizabeth is proud to be one of the attorneys that represented the plaintiffs in Pareto v. Ruvin, the Miami-Dade case where Judge Sarah Zabel ruled in favor of ending the discriminatory ban against marriage by same-sex couples. On July 25, 2014, the Judge issued an order which found the ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional, but it was stayed. On January 5, 2015, the Judge lifted the stay, and the plaintiffs in the case, along with other residents of the county, were able to obtain their marriage licenses immediately afterward, and two of the plaintiff couples were wed shortly thereafter by Judge Zabel herself.
On January 1, 2015, federal district court Judge Robert L. Hinkle confirmed his marriage ruling in another case, Grimsley and Albu v. Scott et al., in a new order stating that clerks of ALL Florida counties must issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples after his stay expires end of day January 5th. His order also instructed all state and local agencies that they must recognize any same-sex couple that was legally married in another state or country as being legally married under Florida law, and that any protections and rights afforded to such spouses must also be available to such married same-sex couples. Marriages licenses began being issued to same-sex couples in all Florida counties starting at 12:01am on January 6, 2015.
On June 26, 2015, the US Supreme Court issued its decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, where it held that "the Fourteenth Amendment requires a State to license a marriage between two people of the same sex and to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex when their marriage was lawfully licensed and performed out-of-State." And with that, marriage equality was guaranteed for all Americans!